The Ultimate How-to of Looking Like a Tourist on the Slopes
Out east the running joke is that if you visit New York City or Chicago (big city environment mostly) that it is best not to look like a tourist. Well, same goes for the mountains.
After snowboarding at Snowbird for 40+ days now I have noticed a lot of things that really make the tourist or vacationer really "shine" on the mountain. And since I have a friend who is coming out here in less than a week, I thought it would be helpful for him and everyone else who is visiting of how NOT to do things while
on the slopes.
Now, I don't hate the tourist or vacationer because I was one 7 years in a row, until I moved to Utah in August, but every time I visited I had a certain way that I followed. Here are some "GREAT" ways of looking/sounding/acting like a tourist...
1. Pulling out the trail map. Seriously? Don't even get one. Unless you need it because you just ran out of toilet paper. The best is when someone pulls out the trail map on the lift and asks me what "run" this is. This is nearly impossible to remember all 85 runs at Snowbird. I am surprised I even remembered there were 85 runs (I didn't look it up, honestly). Nobody knows what the runs are, we just know where the lifts are and the name of traverses that drop into the better snow, and that transitions us to number 2...
2. Asking where the "good" snow is. Yes, there are spots that have better snow than others because of the sun hitting it or the wind conditions. FACT: We locals are not going to tell you where the gold is. A leprechaun would not show you how to reach the end of the rainbow (if they existed) would they? Sorry, but we want it for ourselves. No, we are not snow snobs or greedy, we are Locals. We took time to learn the mountain and deserve that buttery good stuff.
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| COURTESY OF SUNSKIER.COM FAIL |
3. Your attire. FAIL Please please please please do not look like this guy----------->
Step 1 do not wear JEANS. I always see at least one person wearing jeans on the mountain. Gives me a good chuckle every time.
Step 2 you do not NEED new gear but at least get gear that is not from the 80's
2a. I'm pretty sure snowblades died a couple years ago, refrain from using.
4. Don't brag Honestly, there is probably someone who has done better and gone bigger than you. Accept that you are not the best on the mountain. It is actually a humbling experience that you should cherish, especially when you see some of these crazies jumping off cliffs while riding by on the lift. And on top of it all, we don't care. Cool, you hiked up Baldy, I don't care. Do it because you love it, not the glory. Most important rule that you can possibly have...
5. THERE ARE NO FRIENDS ON POWDER DAYS!
Well that's all folks! I know this may seem like I am bashing but I just want all of us to get along. So, please if you're visiting (I hope you do), just check yourself before coming out to the West.
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Meet the Author:
Steve
W Weiss: Snowboarder, Climber, Beer drinker...oh and Blogger.
Cleveland-native who moved West to Utah to fulfill a life of mountain
fun. Keep up with me on my Twitter or Facebook!
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